Look how far we've come my dear

                  This past week I returned to my regularly scheduled work program as Youth Director at my Church after taking on our intense summer program for the months of July and August. My first order of business has been to prepare my Leadership teams for the fall. This is exciting to me because Leadership development and Discipleship are things that I am passionate about and these are the things that our program is designed to encourage. It is a little surreal however because it reminds me of last year at this time when I was just beginning as the official youth director, and It shows me how far God has brought me in my internal life.

                Last year at this time I was in the middle of a year in which I quit my sufficiently paying job that I did not enjoy to teach soccer to children on a part time basis; a job that most definitely did not make enough live off of. The goal was not to be as financially unwise as I could be but rather to follow where I felt God was leading me. I was also challenged to believe that if He was who I believed He was when I had enough, then he would be that same trustworthy, all-providing God when I didn't have enough. That one job quickly turned into two, and by the end of the summer I was working three jobs Including the Youth Director position at the Church.

                So last September at this time I was working three jobs and was focused on reorganizing the Youth Group leadership teams I would rely on and work with at church. At the time my role was temporary and we didn't know how long I would be in it or what would happen next, so we prepared prepare the Leadership teams to be able to run themselves and run the youth program on their own. Since then, both the youth group and the Leadership teams have matured and developed significantly. It was very exciting to see five of the leaders that I have watched grow for years graduate out of High School this past spring. Now, as I prepare to work with a different set of Leaders I am reminded of how much I have grown as well.

                I have been involved with this youth group continuously since I was in High School. That experience has allowed me to know each program through and through. What I didn't know when I began working as the Youth Director was how to implement the programs, and how to cast the vision for where the youth group would go. In short, I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't know how little I actually knew. Fortunately that first task of rebuilding the Leadership teams was a short term goal that had to be accomplished before the rest of the youth group could be built on it. I was not prepared to cast a long term vision for the youth group and God knew it so gave me something small first. In the last year I have learned how much I actually know, and how little that actually is in the grand scheme of things. I have also learned to look for the next step while my leaders continue to capably run the week to week youth programs.

                Learning these things has required me to frequently step out of my comfort zone. I quickly reached the end of what I knew how to do before hitting a significant learning curve. These days that learning curve looks to be getting steeper as every step forward is new. It's an exciting time but it is also constant work. I am repeatedly faced with the decision to humble myself or to try do it on my own when I know that I don't have a clue. Ironically, this is the decision I put on my youth in the leadership teams all the time so that they can grow. It's good to know the learning process is the same at 26 as it is at 16. This road is a good one and when I'm honest with myself I remember that I really do enjoy learning new levels of leadership and working with people; I just don't enjoy the hard work and letting go of my ego. This road is a good one thought, and mostly it's because I'm not making it up, instead I'm looking for where God is working, and following him there.

                2 Corinthians 12:9